The 11 Weirdest Products Ever Sold on Amazon. Their User Reviews Are Pure Comedy. | Chicks News

3) 1500 Live Ladybugs – Because You Hate Aphids.

Did you know a single ladybug can eat as many as 50 aphids a day? Neither did we, but if you’re seriously protective of your garden this might be your ticket.

What the Reviewers say:

“For those rare occasions where 1,499 ladybugs isn’t enough this product works great! I was looking for about 10 ladybugs and then thought: why not just get 1,500

“If the ladybugs had learned one thing in life, it is that they did not want to be in that plastic container any more. I had it open just a teeny bit but they came pouring out like they were leaving church”

“…the ladybugs are friendly and take well to simple instructions. As of right now, I have several of them stationed outside my evil lair with tiny sniper rifles and binoculars”

4) The 2009-2014 Outlook For Wood Toilet Seats In China – Because you suffer from insomnia, and need a good book.

We think the book title pretty much says it all. Get this book, educate yourself, and hold a captive audience at your next dinner party. The best part? It’s only $353.57.

What the Reviewers say:

“All i did was look at the cover, but i already knew from the start. This is, without a doubt, still a better story than twilight.”

“A current blockbuster best seller and a classic in the making, this analysis is beloved by children as well as adults, scholars as well as arm chair travelers, the constipated as well as those who are decidedly not, and even those who can move their bowels regularly.”

“This is so weird. My husband and I were just discussing the 2009-2014 outlook for wood toilet seats in greater China the other day. Now today, here I am surfing Amazon and wouldn’t you know it? The 2009-2014 outlook for wood toilet seats in greater China. I am so happy the price seems reasonable. I’m thinking Amazing Anniversary Present!!!!!!”

5) 100 Million Dollar Bills – Because you really want to make it rain.

The folks behind this novelty gift really wanted to simulate the real thing. It’s the same dimensions as actual dollar bills and has the same texture. Just don’t try to deposit it…

What the Reviewers say:

“When I received these I wanted to see how many people I could fool. So I handed out the majority of them and to my surprise, every single person thoroughly believed that these were 100% real, thanked me on the spot, hugged me, kissed me, you name it!”

Pros: More than enough money to spend in your whole life plus a little extra.

Cons: Not the best breakdown of money, only $1,000,000 dollar bills (no fives or tens).
Could only fit about 40 in my wallet at once.”

6) Unicorn Meat – Because you hate Harry Potter 🙁

What the Reviewers say:

“Do NOT eat too much of this stuff at once. I had the rainbow runs for a week. The entire complex smelled like hopes and dreams.”

“Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I’d been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets awkward).”

“Of course this isn’t as good as fresh, but who has time to hunt unicorns these days?”

7) Guardian Angel – Because it’s sold by someone named Dr. Yoo.

We have no idea why this amazing product isn’t plastered all over the news. Among its claimed benefits: curing insomnia, removing stress and even promoting organ regeneration. Such amaze!

What the Reviewers say:

“I have no idea about what this thing is suppose to do but it’s a wonderful surrogate for my dead hedgehog. RIP Mr. Prickles”

“It’s in here somewhere. With me.

Woke up this morning to find that my Guardian Angel had shattered. The inside was slimy and green. Moments later, heard a skittering sound behind some furniture. Found that during the night, phone lines had been cut, and all the doors and windows are shut with some kind of Super Glue like substance. My cell phone has been smashed. I can’t get out. It didn’t cut the cable internet, so I’ve got online to warn you, don’t buy the guarslkdj;al b bbbbbbbbbbbbbb,,,,,,,,,,,wke;lj

feeling better now. Everything is fine. I will be sending a Guardian Angel to all of it’s friends, family, neighbors, and associates. All humans must get one. Five stars. The most relaxing experience ever. I will never have another worry ever again after buying this product, and you will feel total fulfillment in service of a force infinitely greater than yourself. Buy it. You will never know pain after you feel the slight pinching at the back of your skull.”

8) Steering Wheel Work Tray – Because you don’t believe in distracted driving.

Create the perfect work surface for doing activities, such as driving. Make sure you read the Q & A section of the sellers page, where you get helpful answers such as:

Q: What’s the average number of fatalities per user? Just an estimate is fine.
A: For every user, there is least one death approximately.

What the Reviewers say:

“You wouldn’t believe how much more interesting my commute is now that I have something to do other than just stare out the window! I’m using it right now to post this review and I never”

“This is so COOL!!!

I balance a ball on mine and try to keep it from rolling off the edge while driving by tilting the wheel back and forth and using the gas and brake. I must do this well as everyone around me honks with encouragement.”

“This has been a total lifesaver. It allows me to prop my sheet music against the wheel, allowing me to play the guitar with both hands while driving.”

9) Stegosaurus Dog Costume – Because you like to torment poor Fifi.

If you really want to accessorize your pet, forget the down jackets and vests – think big! Your dog will probably hate you for it though.

What the Reviewers say:

“When he saw himself in the mirror as a Stegosaurus, the other dogs stopped making fun of him because now they think he’s armored – and invulnerable to attack. The only downside now is getting the costume off, the little bugger wants to wear it all the time now.”

Poor guy…

10) Underpants Dispenser – Because you don’t like getting caught with your pants down.

There’s no such thing as being too prepared. With your handy Underpants Dispenser, access to as many as 5 adult sized diapers is now at the tip of your fingers.

What the Reviewers say:

“Bought a box of these as a Hanukkah present for my father-in-law. Supremely affordable AND freaking thoughtful — what more could a gift-giver ask for? I’m the best.”

“OF all the gifts I have found for people- this totally takes the cake. It is hilarious!!!! Everyone gets a kick out of it when they walk in our bathroom. For anyone complaining that they aren’t durable- REALLY???”

“If you poop yourself more than once or twice a day you may want to pick some of these up. But seriously I plan to use these in place of normal underwear so I don’t have to do so much laundry.”

11) A Cultural History of the Fart – Because you need some good reading material in the bathroom.

Setting aside the fact that this book actually delves into the history of flatulence, it is a very well written and hilarious book!

What the Reviewers say:

“I, for one, had mistakenly subscribed to that well-known myth that Arabs consider it the height of good manners to break wind during and after a meal. Sadly, this is untrue. If only I had had this book *before* I dined with the secretary-general of OPEC in ’96!”

“I admit it, I bought this book for my husband as a joke. However, this tongue in cheek scholarly tome on the history of flatulance pleasantly surprised us both! I would like to trumpet it’s appeal as a breath of fresh air with a mighty blast. What a toot! Er, ah, hoot. Good thing there isn’t a scratch and sniff edition though…”

“For a holiday gift that I purchased as a gag gift for my father……….this gift turned out to be a pretty big hit! The author presents this distasteful subject in a way that actually makes it culturally/historically interesting. This book has now been passed around my family and the subject matter has been dicussed at length and debated. Even my mom (who dislikes this kind of subject-matter) is in on the discussions. Pretty interesting stuff……..”

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